One thing was in fact crystal clear to me since day one. Chemo or radiation didn’t sit right for me, and I had to TRUST my intuition that this was the right thing to do. I felt my body had created this tumor and wasn’t feeling at ease with using chemo. I felt chemo would poison my already weakened body in order to ”kill” my cancer. After all, I was only 45kg at this point.
I don’t have a bad relationship with death, we just don’t know how and when. “When” never concerned me much. I had already watched my father go through chemotherapy for Bowel Cancer and when his cancer came back within 6 months, my father took his own life before the sickness from conventional treatments took him.
I’d rather live a short, healthy and fulfilling life than a long, mediocre one. That’s why I never spared myself, diving head first with passion in embracing this cancer as an opportunity for me to change the way I was doing things in my life.